Comments for Always Developing http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com peace freedom happiness success Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:07:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.1 Comment on The 8 steps to be unhappy, miserable, and depressed! by Heaven on Earth | Always Developing http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/the-8-steps-to-be-unhappy-miserable-and-depressed.html#comment-407 Heaven on Earth | Always Developing Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:07:06 +0000 http://alwaysdeveloping.com/alwaysdev/?p=280#comment-407 [...] The 8 steps to be unhappy, miserable, and depressed! [...] [...] The 8 steps to be unhappy, miserable, and depressed! [...]

]]> Comment on Heaven on Earth Impossibility, or Possibility? by Heaven on Earth | Always Developing http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/heaven-on-earth-impossibility-or-possiblity.html#comment-406 Heaven on Earth | Always Developing Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:02:13 +0000 http://alwaysdeveloping.com/alwaysdev/?p=327#comment-406 [...] possible) Or  (Like here…Heaven on Earth Impossibility, or Possiblity?) I have never, until now, publicly released the Manual I wrote for creating Heaven on Earth in your [...] [...] possible) Or  (Like here…Heaven on Earth Impossibility, or Possiblity?) I have never, until now, publicly released the Manual I wrote for creating Heaven on Earth in your [...]

]]> Comment on Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how by Forever Changed | My Blog http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/stop-fighting-in-your-relationship-now-here-is-how.html#comment-386 Forever Changed | My Blog Wed, 21 Sep 2011 03:31:59 +0000 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/?p=447#comment-386 [...] Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how (alwaysdeveloping.com) GA_googleAddAttr("AdOpt", "1"); GA_googleAddAttr("Origin", "other"); GA_googleAddAttr("theme_bg", "ffffff"); GA_googleAddAttr("theme_text", "333333"); GA_googleAddAttr("theme_link", "0066cc"); GA_googleAddAttr("theme_border", "f2f7fc"); GA_googleAddAttr("theme_url", "ff4b33"); GA_googleAddAttr("LangId", "1"); GA_googleAddAttr("Autotag", "religion"); GA_googleAddAttr("Autotag", "books"); GA_googleAddAttr("Autotag", "entertainment"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "poetry"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "romance"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "advice"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "cyber-relationships"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "dating"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "interpersonal-relationship"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "online-writing"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "poetry"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "relationship"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "romance"); GA_googleFillSlot("wpcom_sharethrough"); Share this:StumbleUponTwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. [...] [...] Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how (alwaysdeveloping.com) GA_googleAddAttr("AdOpt", "1"); GA_googleAddAttr("Origin", "other"); GA_googleAddAttr("theme_bg", "ffffff"); GA_googleAddAttr("theme_text", "333333"); GA_googleAddAttr("theme_link", "0066cc"); GA_googleAddAttr("theme_border", "f2f7fc"); GA_googleAddAttr("theme_url", "ff4b33"); GA_googleAddAttr("LangId", "1"); GA_googleAddAttr("Autotag", "religion"); GA_googleAddAttr("Autotag", "books"); GA_googleAddAttr("Autotag", "entertainment"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "poetry"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "romance"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "advice"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "cyber-relationships"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "dating"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "interpersonal-relationship"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "online-writing"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "poetry"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "relationship"); GA_googleAddAttr("Tag", "romance"); GA_googleFillSlot("wpcom_sharethrough"); Share this:StumbleUponTwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. [...]

]]> Comment on Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how by Forever Changed | Danroberson's Blog http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/stop-fighting-in-your-relationship-now-here-is-how.html#comment-385 Forever Changed | Danroberson's Blog Wed, 21 Sep 2011 03:30:16 +0000 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/?p=447#comment-385 [...] Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how (alwaysdeveloping.com) [...] [...] Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how (alwaysdeveloping.com) [...]

]]> Comment on Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how by Diana http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/stop-fighting-in-your-relationship-now-here-is-how.html#comment-384 Diana Mon, 05 Sep 2011 21:47:24 +0000 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/?p=447#comment-384 Sorry that a couple parts of that didn't make sense.....I typed it on my phone and the auto-correct "fixed" a few words. Sorry that a couple parts of that didn’t make sense…..I typed it on my phone and the auto-correct “fixed” a few words.

]]> Comment on Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how by Diana http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/stop-fighting-in-your-relationship-now-here-is-how.html#comment-383 Diana Mon, 05 Sep 2011 21:42:40 +0000 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/?p=447#comment-383 I can't think of any thing specific except that my guard is always up around him. If he is irked about something I get really defensive. But, then, my guard was up most of the marriage. He never really knew me or what was important in my life because I was always afraid to share that with him.....afraid that he'd use it against me or completely dismiss it as unimportant or stupid. 2 examples: when we met I was a student athletic trainer for USU......I LOVED it and it was really important to me that I finish college, as I would be the first in my family to ever do so. It was important to me and to my parents. He KNEW that, but I cannot even tell you how many arguments we had about him wanting me to quit so that I could work full-time to put him through school. It was insane.....especially since my training gig was paying for school.....I had a scholarship. He used to always tell me that I needed to go out and get a real job.....even though I put in 40+ hours in the training room every week. Case#2: I love sewing and paper crafting and I'm pretty good at both. He thought they were a waste of time and would yell at me if he thought I'd taken an inordinate amount of time making something. I never felt like I could really be me and I wasted a lot of time trying to become what I thought he wanted me to be....i tried so hard to do that, but in the process I really neglected myself. It got to the point that I wouldn't do anything for myself if he was home (ie: the sewing and crafts), and if is done something of the sort while he was gone, I'd have to hide the evidence. I don't know how all of this will carry out into the next relationship, as I have yet to be in one since the divorce just over a year ago. I've tried going to the LDS single adult activities, and they terrify me.....partly because I have no idea what I'm doing, and partly because that's a ridiculously awkward way to meet someone. :P I can honestly say though that I'm happy about the person that I am, I'm grateful for the challenges that have made me the person I am today, and that I'm happier now than I was in that horrible marriage. One learned so much much about who I am and who I'm meant to be. I've learned that I have more inner strength than I ever thought possible. I've learned that I can be resilient, self-reliant, and independent. I've also learned that I don't HAVE to do all this alone.....I've been so blessed by neighbors and friends that always check up on me and help me when I need it. That was a hard lesson for me......learning to let people help. I am so grateful for it. I'm not angry anymore, but sometimes I do get a little sad. I'm not sure what about though. I don't wish that we were still married....far from it. The divorce was the best thing I'd done since we got married......except for my three kids. I'm sad that he's getting married in less than a month, but I thinks it's mostly just because it's not me....I'm not even close. I think I was good at being married and being a wife....too bad he never realized it until it was too late. I can’t think of any thing specific except that my guard is always up around him. If he is irked about something I get really defensive. But, then, my guard was up most of the marriage. He never really knew me or what was important in my life because I was always afraid to share that with him…..afraid that he’d use it against me or completely dismiss it as unimportant or stupid. 2 examples: when we met I was a student athletic trainer for USU……I LOVED it and it was really important to me that I finish college, as I would be the first in my family to ever do so. It was important to me and to my parents. He KNEW that, but I cannot even tell you how many arguments we had about him wanting me to quit so that I could work full-time to put him through school. It was insane…..especially since my training gig was paying for school…..I had a scholarship. He used to always tell me that I needed to go out and get a real job…..even though I put in 40+ hours in the training room every week. Case#2: I love sewing and paper crafting and I’m pretty good at both. He thought they were a waste of time and would yell at me if he thought I’d taken an inordinate amount of time making something. I never felt like I could really be me and I wasted a lot of time trying to become what I thought he wanted me to be….i tried so hard to do that, but in the process I really neglected myself. It got to the point that I wouldn’t do anything for myself if he was home (ie: the sewing and crafts), and if is done something of the sort while he was gone, I’d have to hide the evidence. I don’t know how all of this will carry out into the next relationship, as I have yet to be in one since the divorce just over a year ago. I’ve tried going to the LDS single adult activities, and they terrify me…..partly because I have no idea what I’m doing, and partly because that’s a ridiculously awkward way to meet someone. :P I can honestly say though that I’m happy about the person that I am, I’m grateful for the challenges that have made me the person I am today, and that I’m happier now than I was in that horrible marriage. One learned so much much about who I am and who I’m meant to be. I’ve learned that I have more inner strength than I ever thought possible. I’ve learned that I can be resilient, self-reliant, and independent. I’ve also learned that I don’t HAVE to do all this alone…..I’ve been so blessed by neighbors and friends that always check up on me and help me when I need it. That was a hard lesson for me……learning to let people help. I am so grateful for it.

I’m not angry anymore, but sometimes I do get a little sad. I’m not sure what about though. I don’t wish that we were still married….far from it. The divorce was the best thing I’d done since we got married……except for my three kids. I’m sad that he’s getting married in less than a month, but I thinks it’s mostly just because it’s not me….I’m not even close. I think I was good at being married and being a wife….too bad he never realized it until it was too late.

]]> Comment on Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how by guy1511 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/stop-fighting-in-your-relationship-now-here-is-how.html#comment-382 guy1511 Mon, 05 Sep 2011 12:21:23 +0000 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/?p=447#comment-382 wow, thank you for opening up about this. I am curious if the effects of this are still lingering in you sometimes and if so what we can do to eliminate them. wow, thank you for opening up about this. I am curious if the effects of this are still lingering in you sometimes and if so what we can do to eliminate them.

]]> Comment on Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how by diana http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/stop-fighting-in-your-relationship-now-here-is-how.html#comment-381 diana Sun, 04 Sep 2011 02:54:42 +0000 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/?p=447#comment-381 Hmmmm....where to start. I don't like arguing...at all. I'm a "let it go" kind of person. I was married to someone that was the opposite. In the beginning, I didn't argue back. I thought if I just didn't say anything, or said "ok," or gave in to whatever it was that he yelling about, that the situtation would diffuse on its own. That didn't turn out to be the case...he'd just get even more irate that I didn't argue back. He give me that load of crap that "everyone argues" that it's "healthy" to argue in a relationship (never made too much sense to me). One day, I got sick of the yelling and yelled back. That only added fuel to the fire and opened another door of threats and emotional/verbal beatings. They escalated to the point that he'd get right in my face and literally back me into a corner. I reacted like a terrified animal would and tried to get out any way I could...usually it was to push my way out...sometimes I'd have to scratch him to get past him. He knew that I hated feeling trapped and used it against me. Always yelling. He used to yell a lot about the condition of the house....it was never clean enough. Even when it was spotless, he'd find something to yell at me about it. He would be gone a few days at a time for his work and I would spend the day that he was to come home in a panic....trying figure out what I needed to change about my appearance, the house, or something else so that I didn't get yelled at. I would literally have to assess what was out of order to avoid the yelling. One time I cleaned the ENTIRE house...laundry was folded and put away and I'd even washed the walls. I made sure that I had nice clothes on and had done my hair and makeup (mind you, this was at like 9:30 p.m.). I made only one mistake...I left a bottle of cleaner on the kitchen counter. He came home after a 4-day trip and started SCREAMING at me about the bottle of cleaner.....called me names, swore at me, and accused me of trying to poison the entire family. I stopped trying after that. What was the point? He had made it obvious that nothing was ever going to be good enough...that I was never going to be good enough. Clearly, brushing it off and yelling back don't work. The yelling is so emotionally damaging....I told him once that I'd rather he just hit me than tell me I'm worthless, stupid, and a lazy-assed bitch. He summed 8 years of tirades, name-calling, and swearing in one tidy package by having an affair.....his final testament of how worthless he thought I was. We got divorced and the yelling still continues. The difference is that I now know my worth...funny how your perspective can change when you don't have someone constantly berating you. He called me this week and starting yelling at me on the phone about something. I no longer yell back....I just say to him as sweetly as I can that he can't talk to me like that and good-bye. It hasn't changed him, but I feel better about how I've reacted. Rather....how I've acted and not RE-acted. I'll never be able to change him, but I'm so grateful that I've been able to change myself and act the way that I want to instead of trying to respond in the way that HE wants me too....what a dumb way to live your life. Glad I finally got that figured out! Hmmmm….where to start. I don’t like arguing…at all. I’m a “let it go” kind of person. I was married to someone that was the opposite. In the beginning, I didn’t argue back. I thought if I just didn’t say anything, or said “ok,” or gave in to whatever it was that he yelling about, that the situtation would diffuse on its own. That didn’t turn out to be the case…he’d just get even more irate that I didn’t argue back. He give me that load of crap that “everyone argues” that it’s “healthy” to argue in a relationship (never made too much sense to me). One day, I got sick of the yelling and yelled back. That only added fuel to the fire and opened another door of threats and emotional/verbal beatings. They escalated to the point that he’d get right in my face and literally back me into a corner. I reacted like a terrified animal would and tried to get out any way I could…usually it was to push my way out…sometimes I’d have to scratch him to get past him. He knew that I hated feeling trapped and used it against me. Always yelling. He used to yell a lot about the condition of the house….it was never clean enough. Even when it was spotless, he’d find something to yell at me about it. He would be gone a few days at a time for his work and I would spend the day that he was to come home in a panic….trying figure out what I needed to change about my appearance, the house, or something else so that I didn’t get yelled at. I would literally have to assess what was out of order to avoid the yelling. One time I cleaned the ENTIRE house…laundry was folded and put away and I’d even washed the walls. I made sure that I had nice clothes on and had done my hair and makeup (mind you, this was at like 9:30 p.m.). I made only one mistake…I left a bottle of cleaner on the kitchen counter. He came home after a 4-day trip and started SCREAMING at me about the bottle of cleaner…..called me names, swore at me, and accused me of trying to poison the entire family. I stopped trying after that. What was the point? He had made it obvious that nothing was ever going to be good enough…that I was never going to be good enough. Clearly, brushing it off and yelling back don’t work. The yelling is so emotionally damaging….I told him once that I’d rather he just hit me than tell me I’m worthless, stupid, and a lazy-assed bitch. He summed 8 years of tirades, name-calling, and swearing in one tidy package by having an affair…..his final testament of how worthless he thought I was. We got divorced and the yelling still continues. The difference is that I now know my worth…funny how your perspective can change when you don’t have someone constantly berating you. He called me this week and starting yelling at me on the phone about something. I no longer yell back….I just say to him as sweetly as I can that he can’t talk to me like that and good-bye. It hasn’t changed him, but I feel better about how I’ve reacted. Rather….how I’ve acted and not RE-acted. I’ll never be able to change him, but I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to change myself and act the way that I want to instead of trying to respond in the way that HE wants me too….what a dumb way to live your life. Glad I finally got that figured out!

]]> Comment on Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how by guy1511 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/stop-fighting-in-your-relationship-now-here-is-how.html#comment-380 guy1511 Sat, 03 Sep 2011 03:43:53 +0000 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/?p=447#comment-380 I would love to hear your comments on that, and your thoughts on what works, and what does not work in neutralizing the situation. Thank you for opening yourself up and sharing this with us. I would love to hear your comments on that, and your thoughts on what works, and what does not work in neutralizing the situation. Thank you for opening yourself up and sharing this with us.

]]> Comment on Stop fighting in your relationship now, here is how by Diana http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/stop-fighting-in-your-relationship-now-here-is-how.html#comment-379 Diana Thu, 01 Sep 2011 21:22:13 +0000 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/?p=447#comment-379 I loved this......you're one of my heroes. I could write a book about what being yelled at does to a person. I loved this……you’re one of my heroes. I could write a book about what being yelled at does to a person.

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