either your thriving or your dying

There are only 2 options in life.  Either you are Thriving or you are Dying. I recently posted this on my Facebook and had a flurry of great conversations start up with people agreeing and disagreeing with my comment.  This turned into a fun conversation.

The next morning I was talking to my friend DR John C Dealey and he inspired me to write about how to thrive in life.

Are you ready to thrive in life?

Thrive definition:

2. To grow vigorously; flourish:

I really believe, and can possibly prove  that if you are not thriving, you are dying.  So if this is true, than the opposite is also true, if you are thriving, then you are not dying but living. Now of course I’m thinking of dying, not in a physical sense, our bodies are all getting older, but I’m referencing dying more in a quality of life and eternal perspective, however, countless doctors have written about how your quality of life, your attitude, your outlook will make you live longer, so in a very real sense, if you are thriving the you are actually going to live longer, and therefore you are not tying, but you are extending your life. (this has even been proven scientifically)

So, to thrive means to live longer, to live more free, to live forever.  In fact, if we were able to thrive every second of every day we might just well live forever.  Of course most of us don’t currently have the skills to thrive in every second, therefore we can’t really test how long we will live if we are constantly thriving.  But what we do know is when we are thriving we are happier, more at peace, and full of FREEDOM!  Deep inner personal freedom abounds in those that thrive.  The difference in people that thrive is they have control of their lives, they have control of their happiness, they have things to look forward to daily, and they are constantly growing, they are not stagnate and they are not stale.

And as my momma never said: No one likes stale bread, and no one likes stale people.

So, lets move on:

Thriving is important, perhaps one of the most important things you can do to have a quality life.  Thriving may be the missing key to your life.  Do you really feel that you are thriving right now?

On a scale from 1 to 10, what degree of thriving is your life taking right now?  If it’s anything less than a 5 you are probably suffering regularly.  If its more than 8 you are probably quite happy.  Lets move that number to a 10.  We will do that by a few simple steps that anyone can do, that is of course, if they want to do them.

Simple steps to thriving and to thrive on life:

1. have visions and dreams of where you are going and what you want
2. actively be moving toward your dreams
3. do things that are challenging and do them frequently
4. love
5. be authentic and be  yourself
6. serve someone

That’s it, 5 steps.  Now there are many other things we can do to thrive, but these 5 steps will put you on a path to thrive.  My personal favorite is “do things that are challenging and do them frequently.”

I love doing something I have never done before.  In fact, I’m a starter, I like to start new things and to try to figure out how to do them.  Sometimes once I start something new I have a hard time keeping it going, but the act of learning something and starting something is very empowering.  Especially when you get to the point that it is falling into place and actually working.  Wow, that is a freedom creating machine.  Want some personal freedom, start something new today!

So, my thriving friends, its time to thrive on and to stop dying.  In fact its time to thrive forever, because that is what we were created to do, to thrive forever.  Live they way you were intended to live.  Thrive!

If you want more information on thriving then check this out.  I read a book that has just blown me away.  Wow is it worth it.  I mean this book changed my perspective on several levels, and it was worth every minute I spent reading it.  One of my favorite things about the book is he talks about how people wish their life away.

Anyway if you want to really thrive read this book.  Spend the money and read it.  Then we can talk about the awesome new ways you are thriving.  Here is the book.

Thrive on my friends thrive on.

P.S. if you are not doing things that are challenging to you then you are probably not thriving.

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I have written before about how you can create Heaven on Earth in your life. (Like here… making the impossible possible) Or  (Like here…Heaven on Earth Impossibility, or Possibility?) I have never, until now, publicly released the Manual I wrote for creating Heaven on Earth in your life.  I spoke with my very good friend Martin Rutte and he has inspired me to give you free access to this very special manual, however there are 2 warnings you must agree to before downloading this manuscript.

Warning 1: – This Manual will only work if you apply it in your life.

Warning 2: – This Manual was originally written for my friends in Law Enforcement, however it applies to everyone interesting in living a life filled with Heaven on Earth.

Justin I understand the warnings and want the manual anyway!  Okay, you can download it below.  If you have any comments or suggestions for updates please comment or suggest.

(To download Heaven on Earth for Law Enforcement Right click the link and select save as)

Heaven On Earth Manual

P.S. Want to read a great article, click below
The 8 steps to be unhappy, miserable, and depressed!

And here is a link to a book that blew my mind about how we can end poverty now.
The book “The end of Poverty” here
The MP3 recording “The End of Poverty” here

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Copyright © 2012 All Rights Reserved – Always Developing

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I have been in many different dating relationships in my life, however I have only had 1 relationship, ever, that we had significant conflict, and that was only 1 time. I recently had a conversation about this with a dear friend of mine, Dr. John C Dealey. After the conversation he sent me an email asking for clarification. I thought it might be helpful to other people out there who are struggling. Struggling to make a relationship work, and struggling to make life work. The same principles apply in both instances.

I hope you can read this and get the answers you need to change the direction of your relationship as it comes to conflict. You must know, up front, that you have been living your life one way for quite some time. Change may not feel natural. Change may not come easy, but change is completely worth the effort, because a relationship that glides along is SO WONDERFUL. You will feel renewed strength in yourself. You will have a companion that loves and supports all that you do, and you will have a family that lives in peace, no matter what struggles come up.

So first, the myths of relationships and fighting: (I’m making these up as I go, if you comment on the blog I’ll add your myth here because you might be smarter than I am.)

1) If you don’t fight you don’t love each other (huge myth and a pet peeve of mine)
a. Or said another way, people that love each other fight or are required to fight
2) People that don’t fight are not like me
3) The only people that don’t fight are ones that don’t have difficult lives

So there are a few myths; help me come up with some more and I will debunk them.

A little history on JC (me) as it relates to relationships and fighting.

When I was 3 years old my dad passed away from cancer. Although I was young I remember a few things about my dad, but I never really knew him. My mom told me countless times how much she loves my dad. She would also say that he never once raised his voice to her, and that they never once fought in their relationship. I always admired this, and desired it in my relationships. I decided that I was going to have the same thing. I decided that I was never going to fight in my relationships.

When I was about 14 years old my mom remarried, and my step dad and my mom fought all the time. I did not like this. Because of this I spent the rest of my teen years finding ways to not be at home. I would literally go to my job and hang out day and night just to be away from home. This is amazing to me, because I can’t imagine that I’m the only person that would rather be at work than be at home with family that loves them. How can this be possible? How could someone rather be at work, not getting paid, but being there, and even working for free at times, rather than being in a comfortable home with people that love them. This was me, and this is exactly what I would do, because I was not happy at home.

When I was about 14 I took a self development class and the teacher became a good friend of mine. He always use an analogy of shaking a rag at a dog. We all know what happens when you shake a rag at a dog. The dog grabs the other side of the rag and fights with you. When you drop the rag, the dog might keep shaking the rag for a few seconds, but the dog quickly gets board and drops the rag as well. Think about how it applies to your relationships and the way you currently handle conflict.

Next I have a belief that I call a law. I have written about it a lot, search the blog for more.

The law of fighting:

What you fight against gets stronger. If you are fighting against your problems in your relationship, then those problems get stronger.

Lastly on my history, I became a police officer at 24 years old. I quickly learned that yelling at people can be very effective, and it also can be completely ineffective, depending on the person and the situation. Usually I would try to talk to someone like an adult human, however when that person encroached on my safety, and I felt I needed to take control immediately, I would yell, and boy would I yell. I would get in their face, nose to nose, and I would tell them instantly who was in charge and that they better change their aggression or I was going to let loose on them. Not only was this a new thing for me to do, but it really worked well, about 70% of the time. The other 30% of the time the person yelled back at me, and then the situation usually turned violent. I have to believe that if I were not a cop, and people were not afraid of the consequences of violence toward me, that it would turn to violence on a much higher percentage than 30%. I also must believe that this is exactly what goes on in relationships. One person yells, the other yells back, eventually you can’t yell any louder, and then it turns physical.

I say I must believe this, because I have never, not once, been in this situation with a significant other. Now I have been in this situation with family members and with friends, but never with a person that I was dating. There are several reasons for this, but I’ll probably not go into that now.

So now you see some of my history, as it relates to conflict in a relationship. I find it fascinating that I can be at work, and “get my way” and “protect myself” by yelling at the people that I deal with. I know that yelling at work has kept me safe on many occasions. I have seen many aggressive people confronting me and at the point that they are about to attack me or another officer, and just by getting in their face and yelling at them, they have been frightened enough to back down. I think frightened is a key word here.

I also find it fascinating that I can turn that off when I get home, and that I have a beautiful, wonderful, amazing relationship with my wife, and we have never yelled at each other.

So let’s talk about yelling and fear. I wrote a book on fear called “A cop’s guide to overcoming fear.” This book is currently being edited and I hope to get it to you soon to help you overcome some of the fears you deal with in your life. One of the reasons we start to yell is we want to frighten someone into listening to us. Wow, isn’t that interesting?

Think about the person(s) that you love, and now think about what it means if you want to scare them into doing what you want them to do. How strong and damaging is this? Why would you really want to scare someone into doing what you want? Why would you want to scare someone into understanding your point of view? Why would you feel that the strongest thing you could do next to having a physical confrontation is the only way that you can get what you need/want?

Yelling is damaging. Conflict is damaging, and when you do it, it harms your relationship. So now that we understand a little about it, lets talk a little about how to stop it. Let’s talk about how to get your way without yelling.

I hold a high standard for my relationships. I want them to function like a well oiled machine. I want them to support me, support who I am, and I want them to support the other person in the relationship. I don’t have time for less. I don’t have time to spend my life in a relationship that contains constant conflict. Life has enough mountains to climb, bring along a climbing partner that will help you climb, not one that will pull you back down the mountain.

So how do you do this? 2 things to consider. First relationships take 2 people, however, the actions of anyone in the relationship changes both people. So you can only fix yourself. You can only change yourself, however the slight changes you make will affect your partner. In other words, if you implement these changes you are about to learn in your life, then they will most likely rub off on your partner and affect the entire relationship for the better.

IF YOUR ACTIONS DON’T AFFECT THE ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP THEN ONE OF YOU IS NOT EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSIOLOGICALLY DEDICATED OR CONNECTED TO THE RELATIONSHIP. One of you is distanced from the relationship. One of you is on the way out. This is not a good place to be, and it needs immediate corrections because it is on the course to failure.

So I hope all of this background has been helpful in getting you to a place where you can learn these next steps to creating a relationship with minimal conflict and completely eliminated yelling.

I also hope that you see some hope that this is possible in your relationship. If you don’t see this hope then it may not be possible for you right now, for hope is a big key in change.

How a relationship works for me, conflict free:

Anytime you join 2 people together there will be different desires, different ideas, different dreams, different goals. All of these things create an opportunity for conflict to exist. We all want our way at times, and at times are not very willing to give up our way, and so the catalyst for conflict is born.

We have learned that we will get our way if we just push hard enough. We have learned that if we fight hard enough we will get our way. So we fight for what we want, and we say “screw what our partner wants, I’m getting my way.” We yell and scream until we get our way. UNTIL NOW. There is a better way and we are moving to that way.

The key word is proper communication. Conflict is improper negative communication. Conflict can be non verbal communication, but the key is that it is negative communication. We are eliminating that.

I have a hard time describing how I remove conflict from my relationships because it has become second nature to me. My history is when I created it, and I will do my best to tell you how I remove conflict.

When conflict arises I do 3 simple steps. That’s it, only 3.

1. I try to listen (listen to what is going on, both from my wife, and also inside of me.)
a. My emotions and inner voices will start to speak and this is what I am listening to.
2. Even when I feel like it I avoid getting upset or allowing strong negative emotion to take over my body.
a. You know what this feels like, when negative thoughts start to well up inside you and they will take control if you allow them to.
3. After the situation is over, and done, I explain to my wife what happened. I explain what she did, or what I did, and how it was damaging to our relationship. I explain how it effected me, and I propose possible solutions to not have this again.

In other words, I communicate in a positive way how to make our relationship glide like a ski on fresh snow.

This is the key to ending fighting in a relationship. We talk about the conflict. Now do we always talk about it? NO WE DON’T. The reason is because sometimes the conflict is completely 100% inside of me. Sometimes I’m the only one that needs to change. I recognize that I need to change and I start working on that. It does not always come up in our relationship. It would probably be helpful if we talked about those, but it does not always happen. However, I’m much better at talking about the things that my wife needs to change. (this is an area that I am going to start working on more)

Don’t get tricked into thinking that just because I don’t always talk about my issues that talking about it is not important.

So when the time is right, it could be while the conflict is going on, or it could be after the conflict is over, hours or days later, I will go to my wife, and I will openly discuss what the conflict did to our relationship, and what it will continue to do to our relationship it we allow the conflict to live with us.

I will try to give you an example of this and of how it works.

This is an actual issue that USED TO surface in my relationship with my wife.

I would want to do something fun, something for both of us to do together, so I would go to her and present an idea of something fun, and my idea would IMMEDIATELY get shot down. I would then come up with another idea, and again get shot down. I would present yet a 3rd idea, and get shot down a 3rd time. I would ask my wife what she wanted to do and she would say “whatever” but she did not mean “whatever” because she was shooting down every idea that I came up with.

So the stage for the conflict has been set. Have you had this same exact thing happen in your relationship? This could easily turn to yelling and a night of hating each other.

Here is what I did. I calmed my butt down. After calming down I went to my wife and I asked her a few questions. I asked if she wanted me to suggest ideas for us to do together for the rest of our relationship. She said yes. I asked her if she wanted to do things with me for the rest of our relationship. She again said yes. I asked her why she was shutting down my ideas so quickly without considering them. I then explained to her that when she knocks me down like that then I have no desire to try and find interesting fun things for us to do together. I explained how it bothered me, and I explained that it was putting us on a path where I would not feel comfortable bringing ideas to her because I would get knocked on my butt.

When I explained this she apologized profusely. In face it really bothered her. She did not realize that she was causing this issue. She wanted me to come up with ideas of things for us to do together, and she did not want me to do things without her. She totally got how I felt, and she worked hard to eliminate shutting my ideas down. She did not even realize that this was causing strain in our relationship. She did not know how strongly it was affecting me, so she could not do anything about it, until I brought it up. How could we possibly get over this issue, when she did not know it was an issue? In other words, this would of continued forever, in our relationship, if we had not resolved it. This would of been a problem that would of surfaced and caused many arguments over the years, if it had not been solved the first time it came up.

Are we now perfect? No. Did we make a situation where a conflict would of arrived and turn that situation into one where we support each other? Yes.

If I had not gone to her, then I would of felt hurt. I would of felt that she did not support me. I would of stopped presenting ideas for us to do together. I would of felt that my ideas were not as good as her ideas. I may have felt that she did not want to spend time with me or did not appreciate me. If I had not gone and spoken with her about this then our relationship, for forever, would have been on a path of conflict when it comes to me presenting ideas for us to do together. Do you get that? We would have been struggling with this same issue FOREVER. Forever is a long time.

Do you see issues that you are struggling with, and have been struggling with for a long time?

Now I believe one of the keys to this communication is analyzing how the negative situation will affect your relationship in the future, if you allow it to continue. Once you see how it is really affecting you, it is very desirable to remove it from the relationship so that the worst possible outcome does not happen, in other words, so that it is not a part of your relationship forever.

What are some of your thoughts on this topic? If you ask questions it will probably help me to job my memory in the different ways and tools I use to eliminate conflict from my relationships, so if you are struggling with conflict in your relationships please ask and I’ll respond.

Lastly, the biggest reason I don’t fight in relationships is..

I have been extremely selective and also blessed with companions in my relationships. One of the biggest factors I used in selecting a partner is I looked for a person that was supportive and not argumentative. My wife is so amazing and when I do dumb things she is great at allowing me to be me, and allowing me to learn on my own. Part of her sill at this is who she is, and part of her skill at this comes from us talking about the conflicts when they do come up. So the last and biggest reason I don’t fight in relationships is due to the person I’m in the relationship with. I have tried to pick wisely and I am so blessed with an awesome mate because if this.

Thank you for reading and have an awesome relationship conflict free.

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Anyway as I have been working with the editor she shared this amazing and deep thought process that she deals with. I bet you have or are dealing with something like this in your life…. Oh, before I can share what she said I must give you a definition, Hubris. I must tell you what it means, because I did not know, so according to the Google dictionary…

Hu.bris noun /’(h)yoobris/

1. Excessive pride or self-confidence

2. (in Greek tragedy) Excessive pride toward or defiance of the gods, leading to nemesis

So basically its excessive pride. Now without further ado, here are my editors amazing statements.

…”The other fear that’s connected to this is the fear of hubris. Who am I to think I can run things better? Who am I to step outside the lines and take initiative? Who am I to aim higher and go after what I want? When you puff yourself up and brag about what you can do, the gods knock you down hard on your butt, so heaven forbid I have confidence in myself – that’s just inviting tragedy.”

Wow, is that powerful to you? Your pride is keeping you from being successful. You are afraid, you have fear that if you are prideful you will get knocked down. The fear of being beat up if you are successful. The fear of others judging you because you are successful. The fear of taking initiative because you are no one, a no body, not in charge. The fear that someone else can do it better.

If these fears were really true, then no one would ever succeed. We all, from time to time, live our lives by reacting to our environment instead of acting on our environment, and that is what these fears do. They make you live in reaction instead in assertive direction.

I can totally relate to her openness. I have seen it in my life, and I see it daily in others lives as well. So how can we overcome all of this? I have some great methods on how to do that, but before you can overcome you must understand what you are overcoming so today I’m just focusing on understanding what’s holding you back. I’ll close with repeating her statement so you can analyze it again and see if any of this is holding you back. Love JC

…”The other fear that’s connected to this is the fear of hubris. Who am I to think I can run things better? Who am I to step outside the lines and take initiative? Who am I to aim higher and go after what I want? When you puff yourself up and brag about what you can do, the gods knock you down hard on your butt, so heaven forbid I have confidence in myself – that’s just inviting tragedy.”

Enjoy your day – JC

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I hope you enjoy.

Justin

Justin's Profile · Justin's Wall



Justin Criner

Help  me! I'm getting married. What can I do to make relationships or
marriage  more meaningful/special? Amazing/unique suggestions
 may be re-posted on  my website.

May 30 at 10:15am via Ping.fm ·  · Like · 






BrentJessica Rampy http://www.facebook.com/husbandandwifeforlife
May 30 at 10:20am · Unlike ·  1 person





Melissa Little O'Brien Communication. And never go to bed angry.
Tell each other that u love them everyday.
May 30 at 10:28am via Facebook Mobile · Unlike ·  2 people





Andy Gerron Spelling tips
May 30 at 10:40am via Facebook Mobile · Unlike ·  1 person





Shannon Short Treat  each other lovingly even in those moments
when you aren't feeling the  love. You'll be glad you did once you're
feeling the love again.  
May 30 at 10:47am · Unlike ·  3 people





Luck Fawyers
Live  your life surrendered to each other. The normal societal
constructs of  someone being "in charge" may last a while, but
mutual surrender will  take you far. Blissings!

https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=191450084228740

and 

https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=210859378954477
May 30 at 10:53am · Unlike ·  1 person





Ben Hauck Someone  gave us John Gray's Men are from Mars/
Women from Venus and said it  saved their marriage.  It's definitely
useful to understand some of the  differences between men and
women.  Being this interested in improving  your relationship is a
good indicator that you two will have a great  marriage!
May 30 at 11:28am · Unlike ·  1 person





Mark Sparrow Fight naked
May 30 at 2:44pm via Facebook Mobile · Like ·  4 people





Luck Fawyers ‎@ Mark Sparrow. Best. Advice. Ever...
May 30 at 2:45pm · Unlike ·  1 person





Hilary Hendricks Cohn CONGRATS!!!  my tip: squeeze the toothpaste
 from the bottom  
May 30 at 6:13pm · Like ·  1 person





Justin Criner So wow, awesome comments, not sure if anyone can top
 marks
May 31 at 12:42am · Like ·  2 people





Matthew Brian Huffaker ‎5 love languages.. learn em, remember em,
and USE em..
May 31 at 9:21am · Unlike ·  2 people





Ameris Criner-Dortch The  5 love languages are good!  So is fighting
 naked.  I would hardly sleep  if I didn't go to bed mad sometimes.
The things I have found that help  most for me are.  Always be sure
what I say is what I really feel, and  want to have out there, long
term, not just for the moment.
May 31 at 11:39am · Unlike ·  1 person





Ameris Criner-Dortch
Ophs...didn't finnish.  If I don't think that "it" is something I want to
re-express  long term I try not to express that in the moment.  Also
when ever I am  upset/mad at my partner I focus on all "my" faults
and such that they  are understanding about and or ignore.  I  think
about the goals/future that we are agreed upon/ working towards.
Always remember real love is extremely rare and you have to grow it
 yourself.  You picked this person, are you going to reafirm your choice?

What is your language of love?  What is Mandy's?  What are your future
goals/hopes?  What are Mandy's?  How do you plan to help each other






 with these dreams?
May 31 at 11:53am · Unlike ·  1 person





Ameris Criner-Dortch sorry about the mess up there...have not been
 on FB in a while.
May 31 at 11:54am · Unlike ·  1 person





Shannon Short Also, only argue over present issues, don't bring up old
 fights as a weapon is current arguments or let anger or hurt snowball.
May 31 at 12:33pm · Unlike ·  1 person





Clay Brown learn to say your sorry alot even if you don't mean it...
sorry about that ladies...
June 1 at 8:34am · Like ·  1 person





Jenny Wells Armstrong There  are good days and there are not so
good days... Amen to mark in saying  "fight naked" as it helps on those
not so good days..lol communication  is key though and allowing space
 for one another when needed.. Congrats  again to u and Mandy.. 
being married recently, it is amazing! And u  love eachother deeply.
June 3 at 3:43pm · Unlike ·  1 person






Joseph Vermillion Never  Forget to Talk. Communication is so Critical.
 Don't give up on your  interests and don't let her give up on hers.
HAve a Guys night, Have a  Ladies night. DATE.
Yesterday at 12:35am · Unlike ·  1 person





Clay Brown
people  always told me to never go to bed angry at each other...its bad
 advice,  then you just end up gettin tired and even more cranky and
 usually say  somethin that you regret.  sometimes it is best to go to
bed and think  about the argument and decide wether it  is even an
important issue that needs to be argued, many times i have  woke up
in the mornin and realized that i was just bein a punk ready to
apologized, and other times i have woke up ready to apologize cause i
 realized i was right and she was never going to admit it.
Yesterday at 12:39am · Unlike ·  1 person

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I also love it when other people fail.  It excites me when I see people struggling or going through a new failure.  In fact this is a huge trigger for me as it really makes me smile and get excited.  Want to know why, and want to know how this can affect your life and personal freedom?

I love it when other people fail, because failure is my biggest asset.  However, I don’t actually believe in failure, in the sense that most people define it.

You’re failure is one of the biggest causes of your success, but only if you use it correctly.

You’re failure is why you are so amazing today, but only if you

have applied it properly. Failure is your biggest asset. Want to know why? Of course you do, so read on…….

So how do most people define failure?

–noun 1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: (source dictionary.com)

So we all know what failure is, but, do you know what the inventor of probably the biggest life changing device of all times said about failure?

• “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”
• “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
• “Many of life’s failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
• “Nearly every man who develops an idea works at it up to the point where it looks impossible, and then gets discouraged. That’s not the place to become discouraged.”
• “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ” — Thomas Edison

I have always studied and been a great fan of Edison, but I have not always been a fan of what we call failure, until I learned that failure only exists in the people who believe in failure. So I stopped believing in failure, and now it does not exist. Not only that, but once I abandoned my belief in failure my personal freedom and happiness instantly grew!

I would stop writing here, but you might want some more thoughts to help you tie all of this together so….

1. Failure is only in the eye of the beholder
   1. One persons perception of failure is anther’s perception of amazing achievement.
2. It can’t possibly be failure, if…. You learned or grew from the experience
   1. This life is not about money, or many of the things that we call success, but a big part of this life is learning and experiences. So, as it relates to life, success is learning, success is not money. Have you ever had a “failure” that you learned from? Was it really a failure then?
3. It’s only failure when you don’t learn, and when you give up on yourself.

So for my life, what’s true for me, is that failure does not exist.

It’s not that failure is not an option, it’s that it actually does not exist. I learn and grow from everything I touch and do. I improve every time I do something. There is no such thing as failure, there is just polishing my skills more and more.

Have you ever thought about how you learn? Many times we learn faster, and better when things are difficult and painful. For instance, we all learned from a very young age, and exceedingly quickly that touching hot things hurts and we also learned to avoid touching them because it hurt. Quick learning!

I would not call this a failure, I would call it a learning success. We might have gotten burned, but we learn when we burn. (rhyme added to help keep you awake)

So you know why I love failure, but do you know why I love it when I see other people fail?  Well first off people only fail when they try.  I love to see people growing, expanding, and trying the new.  If they are failing, that means they are doing something out of their comfort zone.  They are doing something that they are not familiar with, they are growing.  This life is all about growing.  This life is not about stagnation.

So you could actually redefine failure as stagnation.  Anyone that is not stagnating is not failing.  If you watch T.V. all day then you are failing at life.  If you are out trying to do something and have not succeeded at that thing yet, the you are not failing at all, you are growing, you are learning and you are creating.  This is not failure, this is success.

So how did we get onto the topic of failure? Well I posted a status update on my facebook page Justin Criner Facebook Page.

The update read like this…

“The first to doubt looses. You will not succeed when you doubt. Your doubt takes away chances for success. Success manifests when doubt is removed.”

This turned into a discussion on failure, so lets talk about success. Is success the opposite of failure?

I’m not sure that it is. Once again, success is measured in the eye of the beholder. A successful person is all relevant to the judgments of others. So if you feel you are a success, that is all in your head. If you feel you are a failure, that again, is all in your head.

There is a very very strong bridge between success and failure. In order to succeed you must learn. In order to learn quickly you must be stimulated in a way that is powerful and effective. TRIALS, PAIN, FAILURE, ARE POWERFUL AND EFFECTIVE STIMULUS.

But they only work, when your perspective of them works. If you are fighting against them, if you are fighting against your perspective of failure, then failure exists for you, and…..Your SUCCESS is stunted.

So stop fighting against failure. Perhaps its even time to eliminate failure from your belief system. I don’t believe failure exists, and I’m still alive. Perhaps its time for you to through failure out the window and just believe in success, growth, and the amazing life you have.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to join me on Always Developing. If you would like to know more about Always Developing and how we can work together then check out the info below. If you have had enough then go and fail no more If you need help overcoming some of your past failures, then ask for it! Check out Always Developing personal freedom coaching

P.S. I wrote this article a while ago, but I had not posted it on this site until now.  I flew to Vegas today and sat next to an amazing guy.  We had a great conversation about business, life, personal development, and health.  A large part of our conversation was about the number of times people fail before the create success.  It was super inspiring and I wanted to share that with you.  Perhaps I will post more examples on this in the future.

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Do you have friends that NEED this? Now you can remember to share it with them on FaceBook by clicking here. Thank you!

~~Success Products and Reviews ~~click here (products and product reviews for happiness, peace, freedom, etc) Learn About Always Developing personal freedom and self development site here Join a self development facebook community here Did this article help you? Interested in working with one of our coaches to keep your life moving dramatically forward? Leave a comment titled “free session.” Oh, and one more awesome thing, you can subscribe to these direct to your email. No spam included! Just check out the right side of the page. Also, now offering amazing gift to all subscribers. www.AlwaysDeveloping.com freedom, success, happiness, peace, new perspective.

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• Facebook • Twitter • Delicious • Digg • StumbleUpon • Add to favorites • Email • RSS ]]> http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/i-love-failure-failure-is-my-biggest-asset.html/feed 6 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/create-personal-freedom-by-accepting-complements.html?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=create-personal-freedom-by-accepting-complements http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/create-personal-freedom-by-accepting-complements.html#comments Thu, 11 Nov 2010 17:41:11 +0000 Justin Criner http://alwaysdeveloping.com/alwaysdev/?p=345 Share and Enjoy • Facebook • Twitter • Delicious • Digg • StumbleUpon • Add to favorites • Email • RSS ]]> How to create more personal freedom by accepting complements!

Accepting complements can be a difficult thing for many people. Sometimes we don’t feel adequate of the complement that we are receiving. Sometimes we don’t feel worthy of what a person thanks us for. Many times we actually tell ourselves how “bad” we are at the thing we receive a complement for. I was driving in my car a few days ago and was trying to think of a good way to help people not only “grow” into the complements that they receive, but also to actually believe it and feel good about it and I came up with this really cool way. I have been trying it out and it really works! In fact it has shocked me. I made you a video on it to watch.

Before you watch it think about this. Would a person give you a complement if at least part of it was not true?

accepting complements personal freedom success productsCreate Personal FreedomCreatePersonal Freedom Complements

So what do you think? When we tell ourselves that something is not true then it is hard for it to actually become true to us. Do you want your complements to become true? If so you must start accepting them, not just verbally, but emotionally.

This is similar to the law of attraction… attracting what you are complemented on.

So what complements do you recieve that you don’t believe?

What part of these complements are really true?

Can you magnify the parts that are true, until the whole complement feels true, and becomes true?

Love to hear your thoughts on this.

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Any comments?

Copyright © 2010 All Rights Reserved – Always Developing

Do you have friends that NEED this? Now you can remember to share it with them on FaceBook by clicking here. Thank you!

~~Success Products and Reviews ~~click here (products and product reviews for happiness, peace, freedom, etc) Learn About Always Developing personal freedom and self development site here Join a self development facebook community here Did this article help you? Interested in working with one of our coaches to keep your life moving dramatically forward? Leave a comment titled “free session.” Oh, and one more awesome thing, you can subscribe to these direct to your email. No spam included! Just check out the right side of the page. Also, now offering amazing gift to all subscribers. www.AlwaysDeveloping.com freedom, success, happiness, peace, new perspective.

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Continue reading...

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Hello friends.

I just created this awesome video for you about how your time, and focus will free you to help you create all the success you desire….. if you just do it correctly. The key to doing it correctly is found in this 6 letter word VISION. Check out the video, and the links below it for more info, and make it an awesome day because you deserve it!

Click here to view the embedded video.

David wood coaching and training click here.

My vision Video, check it out

Click here to view the embedded video.

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Do you have friends that NEED this help? Now you can remember to share it with them on FaceBook by clicking here. Thank you!

Success Product Reviews ~~click here (product reviews for happiness, peace, freedom, etc)

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Did this article help you? Interested in working with one of our coaches to keep your life moving dramatically forward? Leave a comment titled “free session.”

Oh, and one more awesome thing, you can subscribe to these direct to your email. No spam included! Just check out the right side of the page.

www.AlwaysDeveloping.com freedom, success, happiness, peace, new perspective.

Any comments?

Copyright © 2010 All Rights Reserved – Always Developing

Do you have friends that NEED this? Now you can remember to share it with them on FaceBook by clicking here. Thank you!

~~Success Products and Reviews ~~click here (products and product reviews for happiness, peace, freedom, etc) Learn About Always Developing personal freedom and self development site here Join a self development facebook community here Did this article help you? Interested in working with one of our coaches to keep your life moving dramatically forward? Leave a comment titled “free session.” Oh, and one more awesome thing, you can subscribe to these direct to your email. No spam included! Just check out the right side of the page. Also, now offering amazing gift to all subscribers. www.AlwaysDeveloping.com freedom, success, happiness, peace, new perspective.

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• Facebook • Twitter • Delicious • Digg • StumbleUpon • Add to favorites • Email • RSS ]]> http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/get-more-done-in-less-time-by-attracting-your-vision.html/feed 1 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/vision-video-if-you-watch-it-it-will-happen.html?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=vision-video-if-you-watch-it-it-will-happen http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/vision-video-if-you-watch-it-it-will-happen.html#comments Thu, 11 Nov 2010 17:38:18 +0000 Justin Criner http://alwaysdeveloping.com/alwaysdev/?p=340 Share and Enjoy • Facebook • Twitter • Delicious • Digg • StumbleUpon • Add to favorites • Email • RSS ]]> [tweetmeme source="your_twitter_name" only_single=flase http://www.URL.com]

Blog about vision board -

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Did this article help you? Interested in working with one of our coaches to keep your life moving dramatically forward? Leave a comment titled “free session.”

Oh, and one more awesome thing, you can subscribe to these direct to your email. No spam included! Just check out the right side of the page.

www.AlwaysDeveloping.com freedom, success, happiness, peace, new perspective.

Any comments?

Copyright © 2010 All Rights Reserved – Always Developing

Do you have friends that NEED this? Now you can remember to share it with them on FaceBook by clicking here. Thank you!

~~Success Products and Reviews ~~click here (products and product reviews for happiness, peace, freedom, etc) Learn About Always Developing personal freedom and self development site here Join a self development facebook community here Did this article help you? Interested in working with one of our coaches to keep your life moving dramatically forward? Leave a comment titled “free session.” Oh, and one more awesome thing, you can subscribe to these direct to your email. No spam included! Just check out the right side of the page. Also, now offering amazing gift to all subscribers. www.AlwaysDeveloping.com freedom, success, happiness, peace, new perspective.

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• Facebook • Twitter • Delicious • Digg • StumbleUpon • Add to favorites • Email • RSS ]]> http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/vision-video-if-you-watch-it-it-will-happen.html/feed 0 http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/youre-too-fat-and-complain-too-much-to-be-happy.html?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=youre-too-fat-and-complain-too-much-to-be-happy http://www.alwaysdeveloping.com/youre-too-fat-and-complain-too-much-to-be-happy.html#comments Thu, 11 Nov 2010 17:37:46 +0000 Justin Criner http://alwaysdeveloping.com/alwaysdev/?p=338

Continue reading...

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The success you enjoy in your life is closely linked to your “self talk.”

No matter what you want to succeed in… Loosing weight, becoming a billionaire, saving the world, starting your own business!

This is why you’re fat, or have other issues that you judge yourself for… Negative self talk! It creates the problems in your life that you don’t want the most. In fact, there are many documented cases where people changed their belief of themselves and lost weight or became successful. Check this out.

It is almost impossible to succeed higher than your belief system. It is also almost impossible to keep or

Negative self talk will keep you from succeeding, this is where it got me

sustain a level of success, happiness, or freedom greater than your “self talk.” This blog will show you an amazing video example of a little girl’s self talk. I would not tell you it was amazing, unless it really was, but before we watch it, I have a question…

What is “self talk?” Well it is the voice in your head that you hear all day long. It is usually associated with negative beliefs or limiting beliefs. Some examples of negative self talk.

• you’re too fat
• your too ugly
• your not smart
• its just my luck
• nothing good happens
• it will probably go wrong

etc etc etc… There are thousands of negative things that people say to themselves daily. No wonder we are not achieving what we desire. No wonder we are unhappy and depressed. No wonder our relationships suck! We tell ourselves this all the time. So how do you fix this???

Well here is a cute example. Its time for some positive self talk in your life. Full concentrate cup of awesome self talk to begin your day with. some people might call this affirmations. Some might call it crazy. I call it an awesome way to create an awesome day so that you are Always Developing. Check this out.

Click here to view the embedded video.

To read a little more about increasing energy in your life check this out.

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Did this article help you? Interested in working with one of our coaches to keep your life moving dramatically forward? Leave a comment titled “free session.”

www.AlwaysDeveloping.com dedicated to success!

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Do you have friends that NEED this? Now you can remember to share it with them on FaceBook by clicking here. Thank you!

~~Success Products and Reviews ~~click here (products and product reviews for happiness, peace, freedom, etc) Learn About Always Developing personal freedom and self development site here Join a self development facebook community here Did this article help you? Interested in working with one of our coaches to keep your life moving dramatically forward? Leave a comment titled “free session.” Oh, and one more awesome thing, you can subscribe to these direct to your email. No spam included! Just check out the right side of the page. Also, now offering amazing gift to all subscribers. www.AlwaysDeveloping.com freedom, success, happiness, peace, new perspective.

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